A WORD ABOUT OUR WEDDING

February 28, 2012

How common is it for a girl to idealize and fantasize about her future wedding? My impression, at least in my circle of friends and our age demographic, is that it is very common. I used to view my wedding as a day where I would look perfect and feel perfect. All the things I don’t like about myself now would be different. And now, I am in the thick of things, planning a real wedding. Things cost money. I am busy. The magical wedding did not just appear.

My wedding dress is not perfect to me. What? No one says that! It is true. I think it is a big untold secret among many brides. Based on TV shows or whatever American bridal culture says, you are supposed to have a major connection and emotional reaction when you try on the dress. I am not criticizing or mocking anyone who was blessed to have an experience like that, but it was not my situation. My dress was inexpensive and available off the rack. It is not perfect to me. It is very beautiful and I am grateful to get to wear a nice dress. Many people will never get to wear something so nice in their entire lives. However, if I had unlimited time and money, I could have found my dream dress. The key difference is that pursuing a picturesque, magazine-quality wedding at all costs is not a worthy cause to me. It sounds simple, but my worth is in Jesus, not how nice I can make my wedding. It relieves so much pressure. I am enjoying planning a wedding and preparing for my marriage to David.

When you are a bride-to-be everyone wants to give you what you want. “It’s your day.” I can’t count how many times I have already heard that. Although I appreciate the selflessness people are showing me when they say that, this is decidedly not David and my view.  The order of “who’s day” it is for us goes: God, our guests, us. Our philosophy is that our wedding is: “a worship service, where two people happen to get married.” When we view everything through that mentality, it elevates some things to great importance and diminishes other things as very, very un-important.

Here you can read how we started dating or the proposal story.

Comments

  • Hannah

    Hi Rachel!
    I stumbled across your blog a few months ago and fell in love. I love your heart for God and that you hang every part of your life on that fact. I just got engaged two weeks ago to the most godly, wonderful man I’ve ever met. Reading your story was so helpful in relation to wedding planning though…you word the way I too feel so much more beautifully than I can myself. ;) Thank so much for sharing, praying blessings over your sweet marriage!

    • Rachel Schultz

      Thank you Hannah!

  • I happened upon your beautiful love story because my son asked me to print out a recipe for Chicken Fried Rice.
    As we are in the throes of wedding plans for my daughter, I stopped to read your entries and am so blown away by your obvious maturity and love for our Lord and Savior.
    You are so right in counting blessings instead of how much frou frou can be added to what is a joyous occasion, just by itself. You made a beautiful bride with a handsome groom.
    Thank you for your witness and may you be blessed in a happy union for many many years.
    Best to you,

    • Rachel Schultz

      Thank you, Glenda!

  • Rose Anne

    Congratulations on pulling together your wedding and not losing sight of what matters! My daughter just got married this past May 11. She too wanted a beautiful worship service at which to marry her wonderful husband. But we– really, not just the bride, but also the MOB!!!– got carried away with the trappings and the fantasy wedding reception, and now we are looking at a ridiculous amount of credit card debt to pay for things that nobody remembers. When people talk about her wedding day, they almost always comment on the wedding service, anchored in scripture, lifted on soaring hymns, and immersed in God’s grace. Nobody mentions the china plates or the reception centerpieces, the band… The only splurge I would do over again was her gown: We paid $2000 (yikes!) to have my mother’s 1957 chantilly lace gown restored and altered to fit, and it was so special. I love your blog a lot!!

    • Rachel Schultz

      Thanks Rose! Great thoughts.

  • sue egan

    Rachael I am 55 and am mom to two incredible sons! I am slowly crawling into
    the world of social media .I love pinterest and that’s where I read your blog and your
    Lovely wedding message. I am so saddened by young women and men today who
    Are so misguided by our lack of values for life,family and God. You are a breathe of
    Fresh air and may God Bless you and your lucky husband to be. I pray my son’s meet
    Someone like you.!!!!!!!

    • Rachel Schultz

      Sue, that is so nice to hear. Thanks for reading and stopping by to leave a message.

  • kirsty

    How refreshing to read a post about a wedding……that mentions the marriage!! We seem to live in a society that pays so much attention to “the most important day of your life” and so little to the fact that a wedding is simply a celebration of the starting point for something so much more important……..a marriage!!!

  • Erika

    I felt the same way! I kept thinking why have a wedding for the dress? No we did it to honor God, our family, and friends. When that is your motivation your wedding isn’t necessarily blog worthy but years later you will still hear that it was one of the most pleasant weddings friends attended. It was beautiful and lots of personal touches without being “self-indulgent.” to quote Simon.

  • Shelley

    rachel, my husband and I have been married nearly 24 years, I clearly remember that I wanted to love my dress, but I didn’t have to have the perfect dress! I rented my dress and it was perfect for the six hours that it was mine! But your heart is truly in the right place, reflecting Jesus and preparing for your lives together! I can honestly say as I walked up the isle all those years ago, my heart was a flutter but there were no nerves, my eyes were on hy most perfect husband to be and that dress could have been a flour sack! You have a wonderfrul outlook and passion for the Lord!! God bless you and David!!

    • Rachel Schultz

      Thanks so much, Shelley. I appreciate the encouragement.

  • I was reading through a recipe on your blog, and came across this post. What a breath of fresh air! It is so refreshing to hear someone speak thoughts so closely related to how I felt when I got married. I love my husband immensely, but I didn’t feel the things people said I should feel when choosing my dress, etc! It was stressful! I too wanted our marriage to simply be a reflection of Christ’s love, not how much time and money went in to the wedding. Anyhow, thank you for sharing! You’re doing good work here!

    • Rachel Schultz

      Bree, that is so refreshing to hear from you too! I’m glad the post was helpful to you and thanks for the encouragement.

  • Jodi

    I am looking at getting married near Lansing. Where was your ceremony & reception?

    Thank you.

  • Found your blog through pinterest… Wow! I am blown away by all of it! I so appreciate your honesty, creativity and your clear love for Jesus. Thank you for sharing!

    P.S. I’m from Michigan, too… Go green! :)

  • This is a fantastic outlook Rachel!

    • Thanks Hayley! I appreciated what you shared at women’s time this Spring as well.

  • Rick–I just wanted to say how much I enjoy reading your blog! You have such a talent for writing, and also photography. This post on your wedding was my favorite. I felt so similarly when I was planning and even through our wedding day, and would overanalyze things that went wrong or details I wish I could change. Thank you for reminding me, and the many other women out there, that it’s not about the details but rather our Savior and him uniting two lives. I love you friend and miss you so much! Praying for you + Dave =)

  • Jan

    I think you are both special not only to your family and others but making your marriage a threesome with God as the top of the three

    • Thanks Jan! I’m thankful you have been part of David’s, and now my life.

  • Such a great perspective, Rachel!

    • Thanks Sarah! So glad you could be at the wedding. Hope you had fun.

  • Erica Breanna and Joy

    MORE. PLEASE. — Love, Erica

  • Amennnn, sister. Love it. (And I do think your dress is perfect hehe)

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