For the past three years, I have written a recipe for a Hobbiton-feeling dish and included an unsolicited review of the latest The Hobbit movie. If you do not care about said film, press on to a warm & cozy winter squash soup recipe – good for non-Tolkien fans too. This is the last Middle Earth movie Peter Jackson says he will make. Oh, the emotions. Let’s get it out of the way that The Battle of the Five Armies was not going to be as good as any of the Lord of the Rings movies. It COULD have been, but with the way The Hobbit trilogy was going, my expectations were not in that ballpark.
I did not know how the story ended and managed to preserve my desired ignorance by nearly constantly chanting NO SPOILERS PLEASE for the first half of December. (Now is the best time to warn you – plot details ahead in this post!) I even took a nap the day of, as to be really sharp for the premiere. (Wasn’t a midnight showing. I just do this.)
If I may do something that will set the movie up for failure, I would like to compare it to Helm’s Deep in The Two Towers. What a terrifically portrayed battle. Emotionally, you are all there and by the end you are drained because you have been so effectively brought along on the journey with the people of the Rohirrim. It was long and had a lot of fight sequences, but was anything but boring. Even for “chicks” or whatever. I think The Battle of the Five Armies needed to in a younger audience way still capture some of that. And it did not. The storytelling was disjointed and confusing, with too many climaxes in weird ways. And too much of Tauriel talking and existing.
My husband disliked the part when Legolas defied gravity by skipping across the falling rocks. That really did not bother me much because Legs also walked across the top of snow in Fellowship, which is equally impossible, right? I would join him however, in observing that it seemed like Peter Jackson took to heart that everyone thought it was triple awesome when Legolas took down two Oliphants in Return of the King, so he was like, “oh! I will do different things like that 10 times in Five Armies!” And it felt played out. But little boys I am guessing loved it.
I left The Hobbit trilogy with a sigh of drawn out disappointment. I must confess I was not as excited to write this review as I was for the others (or am to talk about the LOTR trilogy generally). You can only handle so much of having of having a great opportunity shattered by a she-elf, scattered narrative, and out of place crude jokes.
I leave with a note to Peter (seriously what is wrong with me?). Thank you for the Lord of the Rings movies, which I will treasure for my whole life. I found The Hobbit lame and have torn it to shreds at times, but your gift of the original trilogy will always have you cemented as a man who did a good deed in my book. And hey, thank you for even giving The Hobbit a try.
You can find my review of Desolation of Smaug (with Cherry Kuchen Bars recipe) here and The Unexpected Journey (with Hobbit’s Vegetable & Beef Pie recipe) here.
WINTER SQUASH BEEF STEW
Serves 5-6
2 pound chuck roast, cubed
2 tablespoons (wheat) flour
2 potatoes, cubed
3 carrots, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
1 acorn squash, peeled and cubed
1 butternut squash, peeled and cubed
1 tablespoon Worcestershire
1 tablespoon dried thyme
3 cups beef broth
3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon butter
Olive oil
Salt & pepper
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Drizzle butternut squash and acorn squash with olive oil. Season with salt & pepper. Arrange in an even layer on a baking sheet. Roast for 30 minutes. Toss chuck roast in flour and season with salt & pepper. Brown in a stock pot over medium heat with butter. Add potatoes, garlic, carrot, and onion to stock pot. Cook for 2-3 minutes. Add Worcestershire, thyme, broth, balsamic vinegar, and roasted squashes to pot. Simmer on low for 25-30 minutes. Season with salt & pepper.
- 2 pound chuck roast, cubed
- 2 tablespoons (wheat) flour
- 2 potatoes, cubed
- 3 carrots, diced
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 onion, diced
- 1 acorn squash, peeled and cubed
- 1 butternut squash, peeled and cubed
- 1 tablespoon worcestershire
- 1 tablespoon dried thyme
- 3 cups beef broth
- 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
- 1 tablespoon butter
- Olive oil
- Salt & pepper
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
- Drizzle butternut squash and acorn squash with olive oil. Season with salt & pepper. Arrange in an even layer on a baking sheet. Roast for 30 minutes.
- Toss chuck roast in flour and season with salt & pepper. Brown in a stock pot over medium heat with butter.
- Add potatoes, garlic, carrot, and onion to stock pot. Cook for 2-3 minutes.
- Add worcestershire, thyme, broth, balsamic vinegar, and roasted squashes to pot.
- Simmer on low for 25-30 minutes. Season with salt & pepper.
