Friendship & Secret Sin

August 8, 2014

Episode five is here and ready to bump through your speakers. Many women desire to have close friendships, but aren’t sure how to get them. I think you’ll leave this podcast feeling spurred on and encouraged to cultivate honest relationships where you are free to be known.  Also, I love Vanessa’s take on the interesting question – “do Christians have a right to privacy from friends?”


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  • […] relates everything to the gospel. Each episode will leave you with lots to meditate on. Her latest episode on friendships hit me with major conviction! Give it a […]

  • Anna

    I just stumbled across this blog, and this podcast (which could not have been listened to at a more perfect time) while looking for a pan-fried banana recipe. Thank you so much!

    • Rachel Schultz

      I’m so glad, Anna. Thanks and enjoy the fried bananas : )

  • CArol Pennings

    Very helpful, Vanessa! This is an area that is very hard for me and I have not had examples of women doing this in my life. I have had people belittle my sin, when i confessed it, or pointed out my sin in such a way that it was hurtful, and made me pull away or be defensive, so it is something I don’t do at all feeling it’s better left alone or between me and God. Is there a book you would recommend ,or can I have a written copy of your interview? Thanks so much! Carol

    • Rachel Schultz

      We do not currently have transcripts of the podcasts.

      From Vanessa: “Hi Carol! I have had some of the same things happen to me at times so I understand your concerns. I think what has encouraged me to press on has been saturating myself with the truth about my justification in Jesus. There hasn’t been one book on relationships or confessing sin that helped me, but in that early season of first learning how to make Gospel connections in my own heart, I do remember listening to a lot of Tim Keller and other Gospel-rich sermons. I also worked hard to get around the one or two people that modeled it to me and had a deeper understanding of the Gospel. And like I mentioned in the interview, I found that as I practiced confession and walking in the light it began to get easier and my faith in Jesus as my righteousness grew each time. The good news is that although real fellowship is a great fruit of walking in the light, our main aim is to please our Father in heaven and when you are sad over your sin and you want to trust in Jesus more that you trust in your own righteousness and you confess that to others, your Father in heaven is pleased and glorified and joy is yours!

      Blessings to you, Carol!

  • I listened to this podcast a few days ago, and am still mulling over the thoughts. I’m a naturally private (and prideful) introvert, and this particular issue has always been hard for me–to be willing to let Jesus shine through my (un-cool) flaws and sins. Thanks for putting out such truly challenging and gospel-centered content without any fluff.

    • Rachel Schultz

      You’re welcome, Erin. I’m so glad it’s been helpful.

  • Cassandra


    I enjoy your blog very much, from the book recommendations to the podcasts. You are a very Godly woman so it is great to listen to another resource that helps give me strength as I continue to build my relationship with Christ. I was excited to listen to this podcast because friendship and relationships are something that The Lord is going through currently in my life and inspecting them, making sure they are up to His standards. When Vanessa began speaking about vulnerability and idols it hit my spirit, showing me another area God has called me to work on. I have a question regarding vulnerability, do you inquire of God and ask for discernment about whom to be vulnerable to? I feel like there might be a couple of people in my life that do not fully understand or use repentance, so they might feel, “offended”, but my motives for not becoming vulnerable are not for preserving my own self image, but for my genuine concern that they would not know how to “react” to my apologies.

    • Rachel Schultz

      From Vanessa: “Yes! Since the purpose of being vulnerable is for God’s glory and loving other people, there are often situations and people where you use wisdom to figure out what would best serve the situation. I too have family members or friends that would feel uncomfortable or offended. With some of the people in my life that I am unable to be as relationally vulnerable with, I try and be intentional to be honest about my shortcomings and sin as a mom or a wife to have other ways to showcase the beauty of the gospel to free us from self-preservation. Use your close friends to seek out godly wisdom for those situations.”

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