“Maybe you don’t know what the atmosphere of your home is, but there are some who do – the people who frequent it.” This is a review of the book Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow. I had never heard of Linda Dillow, but it seems there is some denomination or time period where she was or is selling a lot of books. Creative Counterpart seems to be a collection of her teaching on biblical femininity, perhaps distilled from what sounds like seminars or conferences she did at one point.
There are a few wrong comments in this book, but I would recommend it to a discerning reader. Here is a link to the book on amazon. Here are some of her helpful themes.
“Wives need to accept and reverence their husbands in his current condition. Wives like to renovate a husband and wear him down to be made in her image.”
“Instead of demanding a certain kind of husband, she should give up her rights to God. When she receives a loving or tender or understanding husband, she should see him as a gift from God and not as a ‘right.’”
“Once you give up your rights to everything you feel you deserve in a husband you will be free to emphasize the positive.”
“If you want to win the deep love of your husband, you must be satisfied with his total person as he exists now. You prove your acceptance of him by not trying to change him. I can hear you saying ‘that’s humanly impossible!’ You’re right. The basis of husband acceptance is the cross of Jesus Christ. Until we have been totally forgiven, we cannot forgive. Until we have been totally loved and accepted, we cannot love and accept our husbands.”
One suggestion she makes is writing a fault of your husband, and then listing your wrong responses (ex: nag, belittle, compare with other men, neglect, cool sexually, anger, gossip to other women). This illuminates your responses can be as bad or worse than his fault was!
“Keep these additional characteristics in mind as you seek to admire your husband: leadership ability, mental capacity, superior strength, sexual capacity, steadfastness, courage, logical mind, financial expertise, and athletic skill.”
THE REAL YOU
Another of Linda’s emphases is who you are in your home. This is a significant testament of character, perhaps even the truest one.
“Do you treat your husband as the most special person in the world, or are you more polite to the neighbors? You teach your children to be polite, yet how polite are you to their father?”
“Have you ever noticed a difference between the intonation you serve for your friends and the one you use with your family? It’s so easy to give our best to comparative strangers and toss our families leftovers.”
“I could have plaques on my wall inscribed with flowing words of praise from the Chamber of Commerce, the Ladies Missionary Society, the PTA, the Girl Scouts, and my sorority alumnae group, but what would these mean in comparison with the praise of those who know me best? When people who live with me day in and day out say I have blessed them, it means something! Today as I sat writing about this, my man, Jody, came into the room and said, ‘Honey, you’re a fantastic wife.’ Would ten thousand words from someone else have meant so much?”
GREAT QUOTES
“Living life according to God’s principles is truly a skill, even more complex than playing a violin or sewing an elegant evening gown. The wise woman of Proverbs 31 worked hard at developing this special skill, and it showed in the way she lived.”
“We find our identity not by focusing on who we are, but by denying ourselves.”
“I think of it this way: whenever my mind is disengaged (such as when I clean a bathtub), my thoughts can go to prayer instead of to resentment, anxiety, or frustration. I can thank God for my children as I load the dishwasher, and I can ask for His help as I drive car pool to school.”
“It is the woman in each home who creates the atmosphere. She is like the hub of the wheel around which the home revolves. Have you ever noticed how quickly your husband and children pick up your moods? When you’re grumpy your husband seems to come home grumpy, too, and your children pick up that mood the second they come in from school. Then you wonder what is the matter with them!”
“It is easier to teach a Bible study than to stay home with three sick children. I fail many times, but I always come back to the same priorities. It’s hard to describe the joy and satisfaction of knowing you are where God wants you and you are doing exactly what He wishes you to do. When you go along with God, amazing things result.”
NEGATIVES
The most prominent problem of Linda’s in my opinion is her coining and using the term ‘creative counterpart.’ There’s nothing awful about the term by itself (perhaps a little corny). The main problem is that she expressly indicates she came up with this term to substitute the term ‘helper’ or ‘helpmeet’ used in Genesis! She thinks this captures a woman’s role better and is a better term because women are more than helpers. It was a very strange reviling of scripture, and helper is a beautiful word women must love.
The second worst part is found mostly in chapter two where she makes comments that revile cooking and cleaning. It is disgusting when women do this. She also claims you don’t have to like these tasks. Absurd! Wrong again sister.
At one point she says a wife is to “disagree anytime she feels like it.” Certainly not!
CONCLUSION
As above, there are a few wrong comments in this book, but I would recommend it to a discerning reader. Here is a link to the book on amazon.
“What special areas of my husband’s life should I pray the Lord will bless him in?”
