Lots of christian women still just want to be witches. If you’re a woman in America under 60 years of age I expect you have been brainwashed to believe you are in competition with men. But women aren’t in competition with men. Women shouldn’t be in competition with men in the macro, societal ways. And, in the micro ways, a wife should not be in competition in her home with her husband for who’s better, or, who’s more spiritual.

I’ve been workshopping a theory there’s two types of wives, one thinks she is smarter than her husband. The other type thinks her husband is too mean, a.k.a she’s kinder than her husband.

But both of them believe they’re more spiritual than their husband.

Both the I’m-Smarter or the I’m-Kinder wives have an ‘I know best’ or ‘I’m on an elevated spiritual plane’ belief.

This is unsurprising, because this is the sin of Eve – wanting to be more spiritual. And that’s also why women are more inclined to being fortune tellers and witches.

Those examples are an extreme outworking, but scripture does talk about them. The witches and the psychics are so often women because women have this impulse to be at an elevated spirituality because of their self-effusing enlightened, feminine sensibilities.

There’s more, garden variety ways christian women do this all the time in their marriages. No tarot cards needed.

Unchecked, women easily become a firehose of unsolicited advice and criticism. Wives easily criticize their husbands for:

• Talking too much
• Talking not enough
• Talking in a loud way
• Talking in a quiet way
• Working too much
• Working too little
• Driving too fast
• Driving too slow
• Thinking too much
• Not thinking enough
• Spending too much time in recreation
• Not being fun
• Too tough on the kids
• Too easy on the kids
• Being too assertive
• Being too passive
• Waiting too long
• Rushing

The point is clear, and it can be easily observed in daily life. Women love to tell what men need to do.

And simultaneously (!) many christian women are functionally illiterate about femininity in the Bible and what they must do. Women bristle at the slightest imperatives for females from scripture.

• Be keepers at home (Titus 2:5)
• Learn in silence (1 Timothy 2:11)
• Ask questions to your husband at home (1 Corinthians 14:35)

We put away quarrelsomeness. We fold humility through our wifery. You might not actually know better. Your assessments are fallible. God gave you a very specific head, and often God will minister to your family through the instincts and desires of this husband.

Many wives would do well to talk less and pray more. Men are “won without a word by the conduct of their wives” (1 Peter 3). Swap out a quarrelsome impulse, or to be a busybody in your husband’s affairs, with prayer for him to have wisdom. Pray that if you should speak, you would come in gentle, without quarrels, prudent when to drop it, and ready to do it his way.

Your husband, regular fellow that he is, can be rich from how you treat him in your beautiful, inner life together.

The Proverbs ask, “who can find an excellent wife?” This question shows they are rare.

“Become the real woman God designed you to be, sweeter and easier to live with.” This is a review of You Can be the Wife of a Happy Husband by Darien B. Cooper. It is a blessing to realize if you are kind only when your husband does what you want him to do. The typical gal has lots of ideas of why she is unhappy. Most of them are her husband, children, other people’s fault, or include envy. (Specifically, envying the man’s role.) But, what if the main reason women are unhappy is because they are not living the way God designed them?

Darien Cooper writes, “The woman will find happiness as she meets her husband’s needs.”

Eve became unhappy because she left her role of responding to her husband’s leadership. Christ meets our needs and we can in turn meet our husband’s needs. This is in 1 Cortinthians 7:34.

“Let’s begin doing the things for our husbands we know will please them. Sew on that button he has talked about for so long. Enjoy a ball game or fishing trip with him. Bake the pie he loves. Train the children to remove their bicycles from the driveway. Give him a hand with a yard project or a project of his special interest. In short, make it a point to try to fill your husband’s desires.”

PRAISING YOUR HUSBAND

Find things to thank your husband for. If you can’t think of any you are uncreative, small minded, and need to grow up! This is even if he is really bad in major ways. 🌷

“Praise or show appreciation for his courage, honor, determination, cleverness, intellectual ability, achievements skills, leadership, aspirations, or ideals.”

“Praise him for the way in which he stands behind his convictions as he directs your home and household. You may not always agree with his decisions, but you can compliment him for his courage in standing by them. Approve and compliment his determination when he accomplishes his goals. I have learned to praise DeWitt ‘as unto the Lord’ rather than attempting to change or manipulate him.”

“As you plant and water your mate’s life with praise, it is God’s job to make it grow and bring an increase.”

“God can use the very things you dislike most [about your husband] to mold you into the image of Christ. He wants you to settle down to a lifetime of enjoying the gift you promised to honor and cherish, and learning to accept His plan for your life is vital.”

Lots of women trade winning some battles to lose the war. This is by choosing criticism, nagging, and a complaining spirit that operates outside of her role as wife and tries to control. She may get a small situational outcome she desired, but she won’t enjoy a marriage with a man who is respected by his wife.

Praise your husband every day!

WOMEN NEED PROTECTION

“God planned for your husband to stand between you and the world in order to protect you from harmful physical, emotional, and spiritual pressures, which he was designed to carry. As you allow your husband to carry out this privilege, you will begin to experience the pleasure and benefits of being feminine.”

The more you show you look to your husband as a leader and trust him, the more he will grow in protecting you physically, financially, and spiritually. How well or poorly you do with earthly authorities is a blessing for a chance to see your maturity level.

GREAT QUOTES

“In order to bake a light, delicious cake, she must put in the right ingredients at the right time, using the proper proportions. Likewise, in order to develop a happy marriage, the wise woman will use the proper principles at the right time with a divine balance.”

“A strong marriage does not just happen accidentally.”

“A wise woman will build a successful marriage by meeting her husband’s needs as described in Proverbs 31:11-12. ‘The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.’”

“Many of us don’t know our husbands very well because we seldom quit talking long enough to listen to them. Scripture says a woman should learn in quietness in 1 Timothy 2:11. You will even discover noble, mature dimensions in his character that you never knew were there.”

“Plan ahead in order to meet your husband’s sexual needs.”

“Your job is to enhance his role as leader, so don’t give advice on a man-to-man basis or with an attitude of authority, superiority, or motherliness.”

NEGATIVES

As for negatives, Darien uses some colorful Bible translations.

Weirdly, because a lot of her other content is very strong, she has a really poor outlook on household management.

“If the wife does work full time outside the home, the responsibilities of the home should be shared.” No.

“Communicate clearly and work with him to create a united, planned approach to getting chores done.” No.

“Now that DeWitt is retired, he has faithfully cleaned our home and even makes our bed shortly after I get up. I now have a live-in maid!” Come on, Darien. No.

CONCLUSION

There are a few wrong and disappointing comments in this book, but I would recommend it to a discerning reader. Here is a link to the book on amazon.

“God provides definite solutions to life’s problems – including a detailed outline of how a successful marriage may be maintained.”