Many mothers find it distasteful when they observe their children doing what some call “tattling.” It is a sinful inclination that should be rooted out. For many reasons! I think there are many benefits reaped from being super into cultivating a “my siblings are my best friends” spirit among your children in the home. Working against each other by being busybodies is not loving our neighbor or taking care of God’s people. And still, sometimes it is confusing what is sinfully being a busybody and what is appropriate involvement of an adult.
Sometimes my children have helpfully reported an occurrence to me and I am pleased they did!
One scripture that is great for children to memorize is from Proverbs 12. “A fool’s annoyance is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame.” CERTAINLY MANY IMMEDIATE APPLICATIONS WHEN YOU ARE FIVE. A christian needs to learn how to overlook an offense!
How can we explain to our children the difference between wisely involving an adult and being a busybody? One way would be comparing to them two stories of scripture. The pharisees in John 8 bring a woman caught in adultery before Jesus. They seem to revel in the circumstance and not demonstrate regard for the offender, also seeming to use this as a chance to further their own agenda.
Contrast that story with what Joseph did when Mary was seemingly caught in adultery (Matthew 1). “And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.” Even young children can draw out differences in these two stories.
As you may have noticed, the word I use for this behavior is being a “busybody” (or sometimes, “gossip”). Simply put, it is being in other people’s business when it’s not best for you to be.
I think it is very helpful in parenting (especially with youngers, but also through all of life) to often use terms found in scripture. This really can illuminate and punctuate a young person’s bible reading when they come across texts on their own. Concepts you have explained to them, and their personal experiences, can take root even further when in bible reading they see a term they have used in daily life. This helps them to be more overall biblically literate.
The more mom becomes biblically literate, the more you can do this! Some examples could be “do not boast” rather than “stop bragging.” Or, understanding being “soberminded” or needing “self control” versus a mere “stop screaming.” (Although sometimes I say a form of that too!)
A great first question to ask when a talebearer approaches you with an offense by another is often, “did you talk to him about it?”
Bearing with one another, covering shame, and serving our neighbor are very important ideas for children to learn. It is a joy to cultivate a team mentality in a family and when part of a home’s culture becomes loyalty.
“You shall not go up and down as a talebearer among your people…” Leviticus 19
“Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.” Proverbs 26
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” I Corinthians 13
There are more posts on motherhood here.
