Virginia Ruth Fugate has a helpful exploration of “unsubmissiveness” contrasted with “submissive non-compliance.” Unsubmissiveness is sin, born of a rebellious spirit; submissive non-compliance is much more rare, not sin, and occurs with a respectful heart.
Some wives go their entire lives never needing to use submissive non-compliance. Still, the reality of this category means a wife can remain submissive when her husband tells her to sin, even if she will not comply.
Correspondingly, it also reminds us a submissive spirit is much more than mere compliance.
Daniel is an excellent example of this in his time with King Darius. Although he would not comply, he remained 1) personally close to and 2) respectful of the King.
Essential here is an understanding of the difference between obedience and submission. As Mrs. Fugate puts it, “Obedience is an action; submission is an attitude.”
She continues, “Daniel’s example of submission is a far cry from the defiant, ‘I will never allow a man to tell me what to do,’ we hear from many wives today. Such outcries usually come from women who try to justify their refusal to obey God’s command by claiming that their husbands might ask them to do something that would violate their personal rights. Such wives lie in wait, hoping their husbands will err so that their before-the-fact attitude of non-submission will be vindicated. They often fabricate ‘what ifs’ and treat the rare misses of their husbands’ authority as if they were everyday events. I believe the percentage of men who actually demand their godly wives to sin is very, very small.”
“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: even Sara obeyed Abraham calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
